A Mother’s Touch

Image: www.biblestudytools.com

Becoming a mother has an endless list to its m e a n i n g . A m o t h e r i s a p r o t e c t o r, disciplinarian, friend and more. A mother is a selfless, loving woman who sacrifices many of her wants and needs (including her body) for the wants and needs of her children. A mother works hard to make sure their child is educated with the knowledge, skills and abilities to make it in this not so straightforward world. Being a mother is perhaps the hardest, yet most rewarding job a woman will ever experience.

Some women dream of being a mother from a young age. Playing games such as mummies and daddies, imitating what their own mothers do and even stuffing their tops with cushions and acting like a pregnant woman. Sadly, not every dream becomes a reality. Some women may have to go through treatments such as In Vi t ro Fe rt i l i s at i o n ( I V F ) , I n t ra u t e r i n e Insemination (IUI) and many others before getting pregnant. The process can be very long, costly, and can sometimes take its toll on relationships. For women who conceive naturally, their pregnancy is not always smooth sailing.

Speaking from an African background, there always seems to be a lot of pressure on women as soon as they get married to start having children. After a year of not conceiving, people start to asks question and make up theories of their own. Even if you have one child, they’ll be expecting another child within a year. Recently on Instagram, I saw a compilation of comments that had been gathered on Twitter from women who had gone through some kind of experience with child birth.

“13 months and battling umbilical cord hernia” @suagarlipsy “My sis-in-law haemorrhaged during her CS and had to have a brain op after all the blood transfusions, 3 weeks later she’s still on ICU” @chantal_mackay

“Sometimes death actually occurs too. I died while i was pregnant with my daughter, My heart stopped, I death rattled the whole thing. I ended up making it back, but not everyone gets to. My daughter was/is okay.” @Cat_Lance

“Giving birth left me permanently and severely disabled and STILL I get people telling me I’m unfair for not giving my daughter a sibling.” @chronicparent30

I share these comments not to scare you or to put you off starting a family or having more children, but more to shed light on the other side of pregnancy and child birth that we don’t often hear about. TV shows make everything look so easy, but there are real women out there who have gone through a difficult time that was nothing like the dream they had. Let us be considerate of other mothers, especially when you don’t know their story. Let’s rise up and support each other whether you have 1 child or ten, whether you're disabled or not and whether you're raising your kids with a partner or not.

You have not failed and you will not fail forasking for help. There are many support organisations that can help or you can find a trusted family member or friend to speak to. Being a mother is great and rewarding, but in order to be that great mum, you also need to put yourself first sometimes, especially when it come to your health and wellbeing.

Today I pray for all women who are taking on the role of mum and dad - may you be strengthened daily. Mother’s who have been left disabled due to child birth, I ask for healing and restoration and that you still accomplish your dreams and desires and not put limitations on yourself. For the women who are trying to conceive be it IUI, IVF or naturally, I pray you will receive your blessing. To the husbands and children who have lost their wives and mothers through giving birth, I ask that God will show you joy once again, your needs will be provided and you will never feel lonely. And finally, I pray for all women who are being pressured into starting a family or to have more children, my prayer is that you will be patient and wait for the right time and do what is best for you and your family. I pray that we will be more compassionate of each other.