Behind The Smile

Images: Google Picture collage: Hannah Thomas

“Don’t figure ways of taking advantage of your neighbour when he’s sitting there trusting and unsuspecting.”

~ Proverbs 3:29 MSG

Abuse.

Lately, I’ve been hearing people use this term very loosely. Although it may not be intentional and one may not mean anything by it, we need to be sensitive with our choice of words. I say this because abuse is very real, very present and is unfortunately on the rise. Generally speaking, when we hear of abuse, some may automatically think of domestic abuse. Sadly, there are many more - sexual, psychological/ emotional, physical, child and financial abuse are just a few to name. These are just the ‘headings’. If you look into them one by one, you’ll find that they are broken down into various ways of abuse. Let’s take one for an example. Sexual abuse includes any unwanted sexual act forced upon someone. This type of abuse can also be known as sexual assault or rape. Sexual abuse or harassment can include anything from unwanted touching, forced intercourse, forced sexual contact, right down to even showing sexual pictures and body parts. More often than not, we assume and hear cases where the perpetrator was a stranger. This is not always the case. The perpetrator can be a close friend, family member or even a spouse. Again, we tend to hear and assume that this type of abuse mostly happens to women, but men can be victims of sexual abuse too. Any type of abuse is irrespective of age, gender, class and race.

Pardon me to say, but please let us not be naive to any form of abuse. The reality is, it could happen to you, to me or to a friend or family member and it can happen at anytime. It can start of gradually but sometimes it can happen just like that. For those who have children and younger siblings, I would like to advise you to speak to them about abuse and to be vigilant to any changes in their behaviour e.g. becoming withdrawn (although, being withdrawn may not necessarily mean abuse). I have a two year old daughter whom I am making her aware of her body parts and letting her know that certain places are not okay to be touched by anyone - including mummy and daddy. I am making her aware that it is not ok to hit, punch or kick people. I am making her aware of the nice words we can say and what words can be hurtful to others. And I am making her aware that she must tell mummy or daddy when someone does something that’s not nice. Some may disagree and say she is too young and too innocent to be learning about abuse. My response to that is, is there an age exemption for when victims can be abused?

Let us not be ashamed to speak out about abuse. By sharing your experience, you could help save a life and encourage others to report their incidents to the police. I applaud actor Terry Crews who was able to come forward about his sexual harassment recently and also minister Joyce Meyers who suffered psychological and mental abuse at the hands of her father. I commend those who are not in the public eye, who were courageous enough to speak out.

Statistics shows that:

“There were a total of 1,068,020 domestic abuse-related incidents and crimes recorded by the police in England and Wales in the year ending March 2017.” “There were a total of 121,187 sexual offences recorded by the police in England and Wales in the year ending March 2017.”

https://www.ons.gov.uk

These are just the ones which have been reported. Can you imagine how many have not been reported to the police? People are dying as a result of abuse, whether it’s by the perpetrator or the victim committing suicide. It’s heartbreaking to hear such accounts of abuse regardless of the type. I want us to pray for the victims of any kind of abuse. Let us ask that God will bring about peace and comfort to them and that they will not allow the memories to consume them into depression, fear, anxiety or suicide. May they hear the right words from the right people. And finally, let us ask that those who are feeling afraid or intimidated, that they will be given the courage to report it to a trusted friend, family or organisation.

“When you lie down, you will not be afraid; yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden terror, nor of. trouble from the wicked when it comes; for the Lord will be your confidence, and will keep yourfoot from being caught.” ~ Proverbs 3:24-26 NKJV